Sheri Watkins

On Sunday, July 11, my husband and I will celebrate 18 years of marriage! We were engaged for 2 years. We were college sweethearts for 2 years before that. Essentially I have been with the same man for 22 years. And you know what? I’m still in love with him. Not just in love, but still hot for him!

How have we managed to make it this far?  Mainly it’s because I was lucky to find and RECOGONIZE a keeper at an early age, but we also made an important commitment to date night early in our marriage… even before kids. Once we had children we didn’t give up that commitment. Over the years our date nights have ranged from simple date nights “in” over a bottle of wine before midnight baby feedings to date night “trips” to somewhere warm and romantic without the kids.

Throughout my marriage, I have had many married friends, family, and acquaintances tell me that date night may be great for us, but it is just not possible for them. My answer is always, “poppycock” or something that involves a four letter word or two. If you are committed to date night, you will have date night! Too many parents do not give themselves permission to be anything other than parents once they have children. Yes parenthood changes us in profound ways, but essentially, you are still the same person you were before the kids came along. And guess what? You are still half of a couple and still someone’s spouse and loverJ You should continue to honor that. In my mind, I always think to the future. Someday, if I do a good job, these kids will grow to be productive, independent adults leading their own lives. If I play my cards right, my hubby will still need, want and depend on me. That future has to be cultivated now!

So we make date night happen and happen often! This means leaving our kids in the care of someone else. For many parents this can be intimidating, so the key to date night is a great sitter and some good back up sitters! We don’t live close to family. They all live in a different state, so this is not an option for the typical date night sit. However, when we take our date night “trips,” all options and resources are pulled, including family. One of our favorite resources is the babysitting trade. This can be done for a one night outing, but we have used it most often for trips. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law have watched our kids when we travel, and we have returned the favor by keeping their 2 boys when they want some adult time away!

Of course right now we are lucky enough to have an au pair. One of the things that families may not realize is that the schedule an au pair works is created by the host family and is very flexible. We always save a few hours a week of our 45 hour max for date night! I figure why not get the most out of our regular childcare. I know this wouldn’t be an option with a traditional daycare, so it’s great to have this unique form of childcare that is family friendly towards all aspects of family life including date night! So on Saturday night, Iwona will watch the boys while we have a romantic dinner to celebrate my birthday and our anniversary!

We haven’t always had an au pair, but we have always had a great network of sitters! I used to be a teacher, so I had contact with other teachers who would recommend teenagers for sits. I once worked with someone who had 6 children, 4 of which were regular sitters for us! We have also advertised and posted for sitters. We live near The Ohio State University, and I have posted ads for sitters in the online student newspaper, The Lantern. I meet with and interview them at the local mall and choose the best for our family! I also am a fan of the online sitter services like Sitter City. These services take the work out of finding a sitter. Two local services we have used are I Need A Sitter and The Sitter Connection.

If you are a parent, a date night out is only an option if you have childcare. What resources do you use to build your network of go-to sitters?

This is a common question from friends and families when I tell them about our au pair and my involvement with the au pair program. The answer is yes! One of the things I always share is how unique the program is because it is a cultural exchange program. But what I love about hosting an au pair is having childcare that feels like family!

Hosting an au pair means welcoming someone into your home and making him or her part of your family. Family implies relationship, and a relationship is something that has to be cultivated. This means getting to know your au pair and sharing your family! In my own family, this has meant saying good morning to Iwona and asking her how her day is. It has meant including her in our family vacations and weekend trips. It has meant introducing her to our extended family and friends. It has meant helping her learn to drive in the United States and yes, allowing her to drive our car! It has meant asking her if she needs anything when I’m going out to the store or to run errands. It has meant having a wonderful big sister for our boys. It has meant not just an addition, but a contributing member to our family. Someone who always says good morning. Someone who always asks if there is anything we need or anything else she can do. Someone who is one of us!

One piece of advice that I always give families considering the au pair program: Think of your own child. In a few years he/she will be old enough to take part in an exchange program. How would you want your son or daughter treated by the family hosting him/her in a foreign country? Would you want your child to feel he had a second home and second family he could count on in a place so far from his own home and family?

Would you want that host family to ask… You mean she will live with me, and I have to let her drive my car, eat our food, use our things, and be a member of our family?

Yes, that’s what family means!!!

Recently we had our neighbors over for dinner. Our kids have built a great friendship since we moved into the neighborhood about a year ago, and we now seem to be becoming fast friends. We had a great dinner, but this lovely couple asked a question that perplexed my husband and me.

“So, what do you do for fun?” they asked. Fun? We were stumped. Let’s see, we go out to get groceries and stop at Lowes on Friday night without the kids! We spend the weekend doing landscaping and mowing the lawn. Oh, and we all cheer and clap when our 3 year old poops on the potty!

I was a little embarrassed and just brushed off the question with a generic answer about going out to dinner sometimes.

But I have been thinking about it, and now I’m embarrassed that I didn’t give the real answer… We go out to get groceries and stop at Lowes on a Friday night without the kids! We spend the weekend doing landscaping and mowing the lawn. Oh, and we all cheer and clap when our 3 year old poops on the potty! These are the things that make our life fun!

So what if my husband and I have quality alone time in the produce aisle at Giant Eagle. Have you tried flirting with each other in Lowes? Don’t judge until you do!

Some of my best memories of my dad are helping care for our 3 acres when I was growing up. We lost my dad to cancer a few years back. This past weekend as my husband and our boys and I worked in our yard, I shared those “fun” memories with my boys. My 13 year old, who also used to help “Pap” in the yard, recalled his own happy memories. And the fun part was creating new ones for him and for our 3 year old who “yoves weeds and dirt.”

Pooping on the potty, well it’s only one of the many joys you will share with your child as he/she accomplishes more and more. Not to mention that it’s a lot more fun to flush than change a poopy diaper!

Looking back I’m now embarrassed that I didn’t answer the question proudly and truthfully!

So, what do you do for fun?

This past Saturday was typical for our family. Everyone was busy and going in different directions. The difference this weekend was our Au Pair Iwona also was not going to be available to watch our 3 year old while we went off to our day of activity! She was scheduled to attend the annual Au pair Scavenger hunt. Ninety au pairs from Columbus, Cincinnati and Dayton met in Dayton for a great day of fun! Unfortunately, Iwona wasn’t there this year.

Because we all had activities for the day, my husband and I planned ahead and used an online sitter service to reserve a local college student to watch our little guy on Saturday. She was to start at 8:00 AM. By 8:15 I called and left her a voicemail and called the sitter service. I felt lucky to reach a live person in the office. However, she wasn’t much help, and my luck ran out. First she offered to leave a voice mail and text to the no show sitter. “I already did that!”

Then she placed a message out to all other available sitters that we needed someone right away. By this time, my son and husband left for their soccer game, and I had only minutes to leave before I would be late to the Columbus Women’s Living Expo where I was to be one of the exhibitors.

The phone rang and a young lady at the other end let me know she would be taking our sit since our first sitter did not show up! Thank goodness. Iwona could stay with Mikey until she arrived, and I would not be late for my Expo. Just as I was about to walk out the door, the phone rang again. Our second sitter was on the line. “Hi, I’m so sorry. I just wanted to let you know I just tried to start my car and it won’t start. I’m really sorry.”

Ok, only a little panic set in. Maybe I could call my husband and have him come home. It should be no big deal even though he’s the coach and this is a championship tournament, right?

Iwona looked at me and smiled. “Sheri, why are you worrying? I stay with Mikey and you go.”

“No, you can’t miss the scavenger hunt. It’s a lot of fun and it’s not fair to make you miss it.”

Iwona smiled again. “Sheri, this is something you cannot help. I will stay. I do this for you.”

As I hug her she says, “Don’t worry!”

As I left that morning, I thought about all that Iwona does for us. I’m so thankful for all the little ways she contributes like when she loads and unloads the dishwasher everyday even though it’s not one of her duties, and I never ask her to. And the way she cares for Mikey as if he were her own. And don’t get me started on the delicious pierogi she made at Christmas!

  We are lucky to have this wonderful woman as a part of our family. I’m going to have to do something really nice to make up for the missed scavenger hunt with her fellow au pairs and friends! Any suggestions????

Sheri

Last week I shared my nightmare travel with kid’s story! So this week I wanted to share some ideas to make it a little easier!

It’s important to me to travel light and teach the kids to do the same. Our 13 year old is a pro at packing his back pack and getting through airport security like a seasoned traveler!  So one of the things I hate to deal with, particularly when flying is the bulky stroller. Now there are products that are much more travel friendly and can provide the same convenience of a stroller.

 The Trunki http://www.trunki.net/index.php is a ride on children’s suitcase that is light weight and comes in bright colors and animal shapes. So the kids are happy riding around the airport on this great toy. What a great way to keep away boredom and tantrums! Another great alternative to the stroller is the Ride On Carry On. http://rideoncarryon.com/   This was developed by a flight attendant and mother of 2, and converts any wheeled luggage into a convenient travel stroller. This little folding chair attaches to your existing rolling suitcase and comfortably seats a child up to 5 years or 40 pounds. The padded headrest converts to a handy tray table for eating or playing while waiting. When not toting tots, the chair folds flat against the suitcase to store easily in the overhead bin.

Star Kids http://www.starkidsproducts.com/   has two travel trays that are great kid companions! The snack and play for short or long car rides, is made of nylon and foam, with mesh pockets to hold sippy cups, coloring books, and other kid stuff. It can be strapped to a car seat, airplane seat, or stroller and the foam insert collapses on impact for easy storage. This entertainment center unfolds and fits easily over most airplane tray tables. It’s full of fun activities like colorful beads and the peek-a-boo mirror. The tray can be used down or in the upright position!

The BabbaCover by BabbaCo http://new.babbaco.com/ is an infant car seat carrier cover that can keep your infant protected in all types of travel weather and help muffle the noise and bright lights of a busy airport. Described as simple, fun, and super cute this great cover comes in a variety of designs, colors, and fabric choices including the new light weight option with SPF-UV protection 50!

Travel with children usually means a moment or two of yuck. Chuck the Yuck http://chucktheyuck.com/index.php  is a great disposable bag for upchuck, dirty diapers, half eaten food, or other yuckiness!   Chuck the Yuck bags are 9.25″ (high) X 5″ (wide) X 3″ (deep). They are larger than most sickness bags to allow for adult use.  They are also water tight and have a seal with a twist closure that is centered in the top middle section of the bag to allow for fold-over and secure closing. Chuck the Yuck bags come in packages of 5.

I have learned that there is no better way to help ease the stress of travel with kids than to have an extra set of eyes, ears, and hands to help keep little ones safe, comfortable and happy! That’s why this year when we travel to the beach, our au pair Iwona will be with us. http://swatkins.aupairnews.com/available-au-pairs/ It will be wonderful to have someone with us who is devoted to making the trip less stressful for our whole family!

The summer travel season is upon us. If you are one of the lucky few, you may have an adults only vacation planned. But if you’re like most of us, those lovely little people will be traveling with you!

I’m sure all parents have a nightmare travel story. Mine was last summer, and now I consider it a badge of honor, so I must recount the story without (much) embellishment. My little guy who was 2 at the time gets car sick very easily. (A whole other kid travel problem to be discussed in a later post; let’s just say projectile vomit 1 hour into a 13 hour drive is a bit unpleasant.) So for the last 2 years when our family takes our vacation to Hilton Head Island, S.C. to enjoy the beach, we have divided and conquered. Last year was no different, but the battle was not easily won!

My husband and my older son (then 12) traveled by car on a peaceful drive from Ohio to the beach. As my son puts it, “Mom, I can read in peace. Play video games without interruption. There is no screaming, no crying, no getting whacked in the head with a sippy cup!”

My baby and I traveled by air from Columbus through Charlotte to Hilton Head. I should have paid closer attention to the omen. The flights to our destination were pretty uneventful! The little guy traveled great, no tantrums and best of all no throwing up! But… when we arrived I called my husband.

Me: Hi honey, we’re here. Are you on your way to pick us up?

DH: I’m parked right out front. Just meet us outside.

Me: We’re standing in front of the airport. Where are you parked? I don’t see you.

DH: I don’t see you, but there’s a crowd coming out now, are you in that group?

Me: Um, Babe, the baby and I are the only 2 waiting out here… this is a small airport, no crowds.

DH:  Where are you?

Me: The Hilton Head Island Airport. Where are you?

DH: #@$%

It seems we forgot to discuss which airport I was flying into. My husband was at the Hilton Head Savannah International Airport. So this was my first sign, but I chose to ignore it because our trip was a wonderful, relaxing 7 days at the beach!

When it was time to go home, my husband got us to the correct airport on time. He and our son left with our packed car for the drive home! We were off to a great start. Then bad weather hit Charlotte.

The Hilton Head Airport is so small that you have to go out to the unsecure area to use the restroom and then go through security again. If you get hungry, there is one vending machine and one soda machine with three choices of soda. I spent 9 hours in this airport with a 2 year old, one sippy cup of chocolate milk, one cup of apple juice and 3 diapers! (I know I’m an idiot for not taking the stroller) Finally, I took a cue from my toddler and threw a bit of a tantrum with the airline and let them know we would not be spending the night in the airport. They politely agreed and put us up in a hotel.

This was good news since exhausted cannot begin to describe how my little guy and I felt. We were both hungry, tired, thirsty, and cranky! The bad news was I still had to get us to the hotel. I rented a car and luckily someone had just returned the one and only car seat they had. I tugged my tired toddler behind me with one hand and lugged the car seat in the other with diaper bag and purse strapped to each shoulder and headed out into the S. C. heat to the rental car.

All parents know the mental and physical, not to mention emotional toll it can take in trying to correctly insert a car seat. This is something that should be done mid-morning after a good night’s sleep and after several cups of coffee without any children within 200 feet of the car! So I had to do it under less than ideal circumstances. I sat Mikey on the front seat and made sure the car keys were in my pocket. This meant no air conditioning, people! I climbed into the backseat and wrestled with the car seat, the straps, the seat belt, and tried to make sense of it all. As sweat dripped from places I don’t want to talk about, and I sat in the car seat to keep it in position while I did a two arm reach around to blindly pull the seat belt through the correct opening in the back of the car seat and latch it on the opposite side, Mikey was busy climbing on my lap and waving a long, black, plastic cylinder in my face.

“What dis, Mommy? What, dis?”

“Um, Sweety, I think that’s the switch for the turn signal.”

“What dis, Mommy?” he asks again as he looks confused by my answer.

“It’s nothing important. Give it to Mommy. Thank you.”

I finally got the seat strapped in. Strapped Mikey into it, and halleluiah the air conditioning worked! Mikey was asleep in the 5 minute ride from the airport to the hotel and was not happy about getting out into the hot S.C. air again when we headed to check in.

The happiest moment of the day was when the friendly front desk clerk said, “And we have free shuttle service for all our guests to Coligny Plaza. Just dial zero from your room phone and ask for the shuttle. They’ll meet you out front.”

I rushed to my room with my little guy in my arms. I threw our few belongings on the bed and picked up the phone. The shuttle turned out to be a red and white oversized golf cart. My son loved it! We entered the first restaurant we came to. It was dark and cool inside. My baby and I both giggled as the waitress sat our drinks in front of us. A cold, frothy chocolate milk for him and a cold, frothy beer for Mommy! Maybe one more day at the beach wasn’t so bad after all.

I would love to hear your kids travel story! Share it in the comments.

Sheri

Putting Kids First: helping at-risk children worldwide
 
As part of Cultural Care Au Pair’s mission to break down barriers of culture and language through educational exchange, a group of local childcare coordinators and staff recently visited South Africa to see firsthand the difference the donations from the Cultural Care community have made through our charitable organization Kids First.

Since it’s inception in 2004, Kids First has supported many worldwide organizations that work with at-risk youth. From the daycare center in Brazil to the school library in New Orleans to an orphanage in Russia, Kids First has supported a wide range of global organizations. Our most recent work at an orphanage and daycare center in a poverty-stricken township outside Capetown, South Africa is another great example of the work we are doing worldwide.

Cultural Care staff and LCCs had an opportunity to visit several projects funded through CHOSA, an organization that Kids First supports. CHOSA provides support to programs that work with at-risk children and their families to provide nutrition, medication, clothing, food, shelter and an education.

During the service visit, those who participated had a chance to visit the Ubuhle Babantwana Care Center, which helps 150 children, some of whom are HIV positive. Donations received from au pairs, host families and Cultural Care LCCs and staff have provided funds for the building of a new structure for the infants and toddlers in the center. The group from Cultural Care Au Pair had an opportunity to see the new structure, meet the inspirational director and dedicated teachers and had some time to play with the children.

In addition, the group visited the Ilitha-Labantwana Place of Safety, the Philani Child Health and Nutrition Project, the Emasithandane Children’s Project and the Baphumulele Children’s Home. The Cultural Care team is now bringing their experience back to the U.S. to raise awareness, and additional funds for even more projects that Kids First supports.

“Our Kids First trip to Cape Town was truly amazing and inspiring,” says Local Childcare Coordinator Trudy Mar. “The work, effort, love and sacrifice the women heading up these projects give to all of the kids goes well beyond what most of us could imagine. If one little body sleeps better, eats better and smiles more, we’ve helped to change their future and make the world a better place. Every dollar we raise for Kids First definitely does make a difference.”

For information about how you can make a contribution to Kids First, or raise awareness for the programs it supports, visit http://www.culturalcare.com/aboutus/kidsfirst/ or contact your Local Childcare Coordinator.